by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

I look out my door at a world within a world

A caravan park is such a curious way of life

Young couples starting their lives with anticipation

Elderly couples waiting for the end with trepidation

The lonely with their problems as varied as their looks

Police patrols late at night

Drunken rebels enjoying life and freedom

Druggies enjoying light and love

Here I sit wrtiting my stupid little notes

Watching life go by, wondering why?

What did I do that was so wrong?

Who did I upset so that my life turned out like this?

My emptiness of life, am I so different

Devoid of love, too shy to approach

Too ugly to be confident, too bad, too late, too old

Sarcasm a language we all speak

Indifference a way of looking at life

My life is complicated, confused and out of control

I am tired and too old for games

My van, my sanctuary, my life

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

deceipt and lies, honesty and truth

four words, four meanings basically one ideal

two concepts, two different ideas

however, unfortunately, same result

neither frees the inner demons of doubt

they have been there since man first walked upright

your inner doubts maybe different to mine

think about it, how similar

your fears are no different

the way we deal with them is

some people can identify theirs

are they better than us?

naivety is not such a bad thing

ignorance a sin in any language

acceptance would be a huge relief

life sucks then you die

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

your face haunts me in the middle of the night

a brilliant smile that makes my heart soar

sometimes at night i still feel your skin on mine

you took my manhood when you left, crying i go back to sleep

your body to me was the greatest temple

i worshiped it daily, up close and from afar

your eyes and loving words hiding the truth

a pool of lies, an ocean of deciept

i understand you did what you had to do

late nights worrying and even later nights talking

you played me for a fool, what a tune i must have made

life comes full circle, i now understand karma

my life with you amazingly mirrored another

this time it was i who got played

my howls in the night of forgiveness and apology

to a person i hurt in my youth, unanswered, unfullfilled

rebuilding my life after the destruction of my love

while hard, it is refreshing, my new eyes see truth

how can you live with someone knowing no future?

how can you have a future without knowing love?

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

Life for me has always been difficult

Never knowing love without booze

Mother with problems, alcohol and pills

Father with hatred for talented child

We all grow up with mixed feelings in life

To love or not, be safe or not, to live or die

For some the lines get blurry

For me they forgot to draw draw them

Writing a talent everyone possesses

Just some are luckier than most

No expectations are ever held

No results, the result of doubt

Sitting alone I wonder about my life

Where did I go wrong, or this a plan?

Suicide a word that always looks pretty good in lights

True courage is living

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

An empty van and howling wind

An empty heart love lost thrown away

Ebony skin and an enchanting smile

My love I gave my soul you took

If only you understood what you did

A love reborn for your pleasure

I gave everything in hopes of companionship

Now alone, cold and hollow

My life for you no more than games

Once the stakes got serious, truth emerged

Never before played for a fool

Never again heart closed, board and nail

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

Through sober eyes I seek the truth

Alcoholic haze shrouds me like a mist

Screams of pain and disgust break the dream

The voice familiar, was it me?

With muted voice words abound

Pad and pen, Mind and hand

Words fall onto the page in torrents

A small hole in the wall, trickle turns to flood

I try to speak the truth, confusion sets in

My mind says one thing, mouth another

I join the two with elaborate bridge

Synchronicity a concept of practice and time

The end of the journey, light in dark

One bridge leads to another, another the light

Stay true in mind, actions will follow

Wisdom not age the real prize

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

Whenever I saw a sunny warm day

Your kindness brought a tear to my eye

The help and compassion you gave selflessly

A rare gem in a world gone mad

Life can be cruel and heartless

Man and machine seem stupid and dumb

Storm clouds show the sorrow in your heart

I have never said thank you properly

My words on this page will show my feelings

You touched me in ways I never wanted

A sensibility laced with common sense

We all lose things we wish to keep

Love, loved ones, children, sometimes sanity

Never forget the compassion you gave

Has helped in more ways than you realise

To me you will always be a friend

A sunny day, a sparkling jewel

Two words is all I can give you

They might not be insight but heartfelt

THANK YOU

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

You have spent your life helping others

I have spent mine not caring

You gave me help when none was foreseeable

These words I offer friend to friend

You believe in things I never will

A pain you now feel I know too well

You were my light in the darkness

Don’t let anger cloud the way

The rain will come, tears will fall, words will fly

Confusion now the hidden reality

You have helped so many in their times of need

If you are in need, my time is yours

In the darkest hours comes our greatest strength

The world still spins and life goes on

For what it is worth, I know your pain

Find happiness in the now

You of all people deserve it

by

Peter Andrew Gunnis

A bridge in the desert

Joining wasteland to wasteland

two sets of ideas

Shy away from the centre

Four items were once different

Now I see clear similarities

All with their defences

Arms, swords and spikes

The other side unarmed and unaware

No outward defence, open and forgiving

Understandings of life and it’s complexities

Honest and truthful. Paradise lost

Two sides of the brain

Ying and Yang, Male and Female

Cannot have one without the other

Why are they seperated

In the darkness, you’re there
Whispering deeds of the past
Letting me know I’m not the first
Will I be the last?

Generations of men all grovel
At the ground before you
Yet you seek me out
Ecstasy or terror, confused emotions

Every man has his price
Negotiation is never an option
Are souls really that valuable?
Is it worth the damnation?

Supple kisses on my neck
Feathers stroking skin
Baking in the beat of your lust
Cloying perfume of decay & earth

I can feel my blood
Pumping through your veins
Your hands criss-cross my back
Like talons through flesh

Crosses hanging upside down
Virgin draped across altar
The children are flying in anticipation
Golden goblets full of blood

Realization hits like a speeding car
I fell asleep before your gift finished
Don’t hate my humanity
Enjoy my eternity

Everywhere I feel the life I had
You circle me with pleading eyes
Everyone feeding on the life
Existing only for death